My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
