Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Shame - the story of my life.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize