He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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