I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
