why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i came on her dog
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
