I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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