Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
