why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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