you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
