Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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