have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
