Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
we're so committed to being not committed
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
