Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
