Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
