i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
