I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
