i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
handjob tips. give me some.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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