I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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