WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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