Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
