You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
you never un-have a 4some
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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