I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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