it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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