...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
