I need help removing her.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize