i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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