Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
