i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
