just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
