let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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