Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
