I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
my liver is dry heaving
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
