Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize