butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
