What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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