...so i touched it.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
