does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
