the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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