she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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