i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
