and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Two words: nipple clamps
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
