why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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