just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
His nipple licking is glorious
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