1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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