Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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