did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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