So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
