I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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