turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize