i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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