I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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