Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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