You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
