your room smells of hookers.
And success
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
