his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize