That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
bring money and cleavage
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
