I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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