he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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