God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
