What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize