Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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