please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize