I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
