How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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