I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
