Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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