I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
