Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize