Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
