Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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