I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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