Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
