White coat. Heels.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize