About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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