Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
