My sheets look like a crime scene.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
