is your mom at the bar?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
